i don't think i've really spread the word out yet...

but i'm coming home soon!! yay!!!

i'll let all of you know when i've bought the tickets already. :-)

PS HERE'S A LIST OF "MUST DO" WHEN I GET HOME:

1. eat isaw from UP (and roam around UP as well)
2. get shizzled at Tomato Kick!!
3. get shizzled at Sarah's
4. visit Junkie Shop
5. have lunch or dinner at Mang Jimmy's and Rodic's

so far, that's all i have right now... but most definitely, i will see all my friends... cause i miss them all so much!!!

this is what i did during the long weekend... i drew again! after i don't know how long... and i rendered it in water color... just like the good old days...

on my way home, we had to stop at the shoulder cause of a flat tire. it's my third flat tire... in a span of... 2-3 months? yes, i am indeed a flat tire princess.

anyhow, i got off the car, and was playing with plastic bottle caps that were there on the shoulder. one guy pulled over (most probably because he saw me, i'm a girl, a damsel in distress, and he didn't see my driver) the highway. then he saw my driver and asked if he needed help. his car was a hummer, he's a skin head, with a nice posture, and he's hot! hahahahaha! but, that's about it...

when my driver was finally done replacing the tire, we got in the car again, and he started the car. it didn't start. battery was dead. it must be because of the cold weather...

then i asked if he had the cable so we could jump start the car. he didn't have any.

i started hailing cars that were passing by.

then... HAILSTORM!!! the ice was as huge as the head of a thumb tack. i hurried back in the car again, and then it rained. i couldn't even smoke cause it was raining. finally, the rain has stopped.

i got out again and hailed cars again.

7 cars stopped, and asked what was wrong. 5 kuwaitis were eager to help. unfortunately, they too, didn't have a cable.

2 of the cars who stopped were indian taxi drivers. they didn't have a cable as well. one cab driver offered to "help" by calling somebody, a cab driver he knows who has a cable. but he said that we should pay the guy who's coming. thanks for your "help" i said.

finally, the cops got to where we were, and they jump started the car. the cops were very nice. i gave them a warm "thank you so much officers!!" they both smiled.

for the first time, i felt good to be a girl living and working in kuwait. it is part of the kuwaiti culture to help women out. they couldn't afford to see women stuck in the highway with a broken car.

i feel great. i didn't expect a lot of people to offer help.

i'm happy. i'm glad that there are still good hearted people in this fucked up world.

i am stressed. but i'm happy. (yet another confirmation of my abnormality)

i was happy last night.

i am happy today.

hopefully, i'll still be happy tomorrow.

i weep.

you have poisoned me. you made me feel so great, yet you were slowly killing me.

and now...

i'm dead.

i hate this place.

i'm giving myself three months. i should be out of this hell hole within the next three months.

fuck all the plans. fuck all my goals.

i need to get out of here.

it's not something that i want to do. but it's something that i need to do.

At a Glance:

• Takes time over tasks, sees deadlines as flexible.

• Detailed, meticulous and observant, quick to pick out abnormalities.

• Objective, but may appear detached.

• Avoids long-term or close interpersonal relationships.

• Concerned with prestige, recognition, rank and reputation.

• Wants to lead people, has considerable influence over others.

• Orderly, methodical and systematic, takes care to plan in detail.

• Needs clear and thorough instructions, slow to act when uncertain.

==========

Ms Muan is prepared to put in hard work moderately but she may at times prefer to work at her own pace.

Time is not a major priority for Ms Muan. She is probably often late for appointments and may keep people waiting. She sees deadlines as flexible and takes her time to do things. She is not time-conscious when planning or organizing activities. Ms Muan may feel stressed and demotivated when she is rushed, and may not deliver results on time.

Ms Muan generally will persist with work until it is completed but may at times not complete her tasks.

Ms Muan is likely to be quality-conscious and achievement-oriented. She is motivated to produce work that is of a high standard. She is observant, quick to spot errors and critical where work is concerned. She is likely to be meticulous, careful and pre-occupied with detail.

Ms Muan is an objective person who is impartial and rational. She speaks factually and often does not involve her own feelings and emotions. She may sometimes be perceived as distant or detached.

Although Ms Muan is usually a sympathetic person, she may at times be selective about being involved in the personal problems of people.

Ms Muan is friendly and outgoing when she is with friends although she may at times prefer to be quiet.

Ms Muan is not one who prefers strong or deep bonds, and avoids close interpersonal relationships. She is reluctant to form attachments, preferring to keep people at a distance. She prefers relationships to remain casual and superficial.

Ms Muan is moderately serious about her responsibilities and selectively takes ownership of her work.

Ms Muan is concerned with position and status. She cares about how people view her. Prestige, quality, rank and reputation are important to her. She is likely to be brand-conscious and would attach significance to status symbols. She takes pride in her appearance.

Ms Muan is at times able to engage people to accomplish her objectives.

Courage, vigour and initiative are some of the hallmarks of Ms Muan's character. She wants to lead direct and guide people in a certain direction. Because Ms Muan is confident, forward thinking and visionary, she commands respect and has considerable influence over others. She is able to harness the support of people.

Ms Muan is as keen to explore abstract concepts when the topic appeals to her and she is as interested to discuss theoretical issues as the average person.

Being orderly, methodical and systematic, Ms Muan spends considerable time planning ahead and organizing activities. She ensures that programmes are scheduled properly and takes care to plan in detail. Formulating procedures and policies is her forte.

Ms Muan is generally able to express herself although not to a high degree of eloquence.

Being one who needs clear and thorough instructions before she can proceed on action, Ms Muan resists when conditions are uncertain. She does not adapt easily to changes. Before she embarks on a new project, expect Ms Muan to find out more and probe deeply.

i'm going back to work tomorrow............ wwwwwwwwwwwaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i have been sick (again) lately. i stay in bed most of the time.

it's the eid holiday which marks the end of ramadan. i will not be working for a total of 4 days straight.

i'm just going to stay at home. i don't feel like going out.

i'm okay now. the medicine finally worked.

i was happy for awhile. i was happy last night. :-) i wish i could be happy 24/7.

so... i had a light bulb moment last night. i just started uttering words of an extemporaneous poem. weird.........

hay naku!!!

1. kung di ka kampante sa english mo, bumili ka ng dictionary! sabi nga ni jhana: "empower yourself!"

2. huwag kang magreklamo kung di ko sinasagot yung text mo, or di ko sinasagot yung tawag mo! dalawa lang pwedeng ibig sabihin noon: a) wala akong load, di ako binibigyan ng kompanya ng phone line, di gaya mo no! b) meron akong load, pero ayaw kong makausap ka! leche ka!

3. huwag mo kong pagawan ng kontrata kung babaguhin mo din naman lahat! sana, gumawa ka na lang ng sarili mo no! sinayang mo lang oras ko!

4. huwag mo na kong takutin sa mga tang inang memo mo na kesyo babawasan ang sahod kung absent, may demerit kung di sinasagot telepono, etc etc. pwede ba! di uubra sakin mga ganyan no! magulang ko nga di umuubra sakin, ikaw pa kaya?? kapal ng mukha mo no! sino ka ba sa buhay ko? mamamatay ba ko kung nawala ka sa mundo?? hindi no!!

5. pwede ba... huwag mo kong ipagprint or ipagscan ng papeles dahil kinuha mo yung printer/scanner! nasa opisina mo yun! so ikaw lang pwedeng gumawa nun!

6. di mo ko personal alalay. di ako pinanganak sa mundo para pagsilbihan ang isang panang walang utak na gaya mo. abuso ka! di por que may 20+ taon na ang experience mo, di ibig sabihin nun na may utak ka! puro walang kwenta mga pinagsasabi mo. di mo na kailangang ikwento ang buong istorya para lang sa 5 sentences na memo.

7. kung may ipapagawa ka na trabaho ko, huwag mo nang iexplain, dahil trabaho ko yun, di ako tanga gaya mo. alam ko ginagawa ko. tinuturuan pa nga kita eh. tapos ikaw pa yung may 20+ years na experience.. pwede ba... tanggapin mo na lang yung katotohanan na iniinis mo ko dahil alam mong magaling ako, at di ka makapagnakaw dahil alam mong tuwid ako pagdating sa trabaho.

8. mamatay ka na! di ka mahal ng pamilya mo. lola mo lang nagmamahal sayo! and news flash, gago! PATAY NA SIYA!!!

so i found this website where i can design stuff... and if my design wins, they will make the clothes and give me 7.5% of the sales profit.
the challenge was to make an invisible face hoodie -  the hoodie should cover the entire face except the eyes...

here's what i made: a reversible zip up hoodie... i got inspired by ninjas for some reason..... check it out! 

 

i haven't been able to sleep well for 5 weeks now. it has been on and off. it makes me feel like crap.

i wished i'd go into a coma.

i'm not in the mood for work as well. i thought i'll feel a lot better after the trip to bahrain, but i'm still not feeling well. it's still the same.

i have been imagining myself getting into a car accident, and then i'll go into a coma. and i feel good after imagining the slightest details of that accident.

i need to get sleep. for a week or two.

it will make me feel better.

a couple of days ago, my friend paul and i went fishing. it was my first time to do that, and he taught me how.